Shortcuts are brilliant.

We are all busy, wouldn’t it be nice to know upfront how to best communicate with others rather than spending time navigating and second-guessing? I love efficiency and cutting to the chase… so here we go.

It’s quite simple: Share your personal user manual. That’s it!

Think of user manuals as the CliffNotes of people—straightforward guides to navigating relationships.

Imagine if we all had a user manual. It would reveal the critical elements of our personalities, help us connect more deeply, move us into action faster, and help us avoid misunderstandings.

Instead, we spend a lot of time negotiating, guessing, or trying to figure people out, while the answers remain hidden. Simply because no one is providing a manual.

This week, Daniel Pink shared a quick 3-minute video on how to create a personal user manual, explaining why it’s a valuable tool for building better relationships.

Here are the CliffNotes:

(See how handy that was?)

Start by asking yourself these four questions:

1. What gives you energy, and what depletes it?
2. What form of communication do you prefer? Think beyond email, phone, or text. Consider the frequency of feedback and whether you prefer directness or a softer approach.
3. What are your pet peeves?
4. What do people misunderstand about you?

For instance, do your facial expressions send mixed messages? Do your weekend emails accidentally signal to others that they should be working on weekends, too?

Dig deeper into your answers.

For example, when I first thought about my pet peeves, I realized that I don’t particularly like when people are asked a question and reply, saying “I don’t care, you decide.” The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it’s deeper than that. The fact is, I don’t like when people don’t express their opinions. When I think even deeper about things, what I discovered was that I don’t like it when people lack decisiveness and don’t advocate for themselves. That’s the real answer!

• Clarity starts with you.

Own your answers. This exercise isn’t about right or wrong—it’s about uncovering ways to interact more clearly and bring joy to your life.

• Next, share your insights with others.

Start small—with a spouse, friend, or close colleague. Once comfortable, share with your team or manager.

• Finally, scale the concept.

Encourage your team to do this exercise together (maybe an icebreaker for a team meeting or a reboot for 2025).This excercise fosters trust and understanding and provides “shortcuts to success.”

A simple example.

A client of mine recently admitted that she hates talking on the phone. When she shared this with her boss, he was both surprised and delighted. They laughed about it, and he adjusted his communication style to better suit her preferences—reducing her stress and improving their working relationship.

Own your quirks. Normalize your humanity.

We all have preferences, so why not share them? Most people will happily accommodate when they know how to make interactions better for you.