Me: “Mmmm, maybe we should transplant this lavender over to the larger garden…” Thirty minutes later… Me: “WHAT did you just do?”Husband: “I transplanted it like you said.”Me: “I didn’t say to transplant it. I was just thinking about transplanting." I walk away.He stands bewildered. The famous disconnect. We’ve all done it. What feels like casual ideation to you can land as instruction to someone else. Especially when there’s a power imbalance. (Yes, I am the boss!) A leader shares an...
2 days ago • 1 min read
For women to internalize and for men to recognize: As much as we try to deny it, most of us carry an unconscious tension around gender — who we believe we should be, how we expect to be treated, and the quiet stories we tell ourselves about why things did or didn’t happen. These stories can become mental quicksand. You can spend years dissecting every nuance of others’ behavior… or you can shift your focus to your inherent power. We cannot control others — nor should we exhaust ourselves...
8 days ago • 2 min read
I recently read a version of this and couldn't resist sharing it with you… People will treat you based on what you consistently tolerate.They don’t guess your standards — they experience them. What you allow once can quietly become permission.What you repeatedly excuse can slowly become the pattern. And yet… this isn’t about blame. It’s about agency. We are shaped by our environments — but also by the choices we make every day.I often say we are responsible for at least 10% of every...
15 days ago • 1 min read
When “No” Becomes a Negotiation This past weekend, a dream came true. I taught the first—of what I hope will be many—self-defense classes for high school girls. While preparing, I came across a quote that landed hard: “When a man says ‘No,’ it’s the end of the conversation.When a woman says ‘No,’ it’s the beginning of a negotiation.” I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. Because that same dynamic shows up every day in the workplace. We spend an extraordinary amount of time navigating...
23 days ago • 1 min read
“Fear is the most expensive leadership strategy we never budget for.” While not captured on a P&L, the loss is real. More than $1 billion dollars is lost each year to fear-based leadership—through disengagement, burnout, turnover, and rumination. One of the biggest culprits? Unconscious cognitive load. There’s a scientific term for this: Perseverative Cognition—the repetitive mental replaying of worries, assumptions, stories, and imagined futures.Not the event itself, but the thinking about...
29 days ago • 1 min read
I recently learned a term that stopped me in my tracks: “Bliss Station.” Coined by Joseph Campbell in The Power of Myth, it refers to a sacred place—or time—where you intentionally disconnect from the noise of the world and reconnect with your deeper self. Campbell spoke about carving out this space unapologetically, slowing down enough to listen, reflect, and create. I want to put a small spin on this idea. My first job in a hospital placed me in a sterile room—four blank walls, little...
about 1 month ago • 1 min read
The Power of Strategic Restraint Years ago, I made a very smart move — I declined a promotion. Yes, the salary would have been higher.The title was impressive.The leaders I’d work with? Exceptional. And yet… I knew I’d be bored. That role would have pulled me away from my inherent strengths. I would’ve been busy — productive even — but disconnected from the work that excites me. Busy and bored is a dangerous combination. One of the most important elements of great leadership is knowing your...
about 1 month ago • 1 min read
Intentional Leadership, not Performative Gratitude As we wind down the year, I invite you to be brave.Humble.Vulnerable. Begin your next meeting with a pause.A deep breath.Silence. Let the moment land. Then say, “Thank you.” Don’t rush past it.Stay. Thank them for their time.Their wisdom.Their choice to dedicate their moments—and energy—to your team. This will feel powerful.It may feel uncomfortable.That’s the point. It’s easy to untether the tension—to speed up your speech, pivot to...
2 months ago • 1 min read
Beyond Survival, Into Leadership Ten years ago, my life took an unexpected turn: I was diagnosed with cancer. Those moments cracked something open in me. Conversations with strangers cut straight through the small talk and into the heart of things—fear, hope, grit, love. And in that rawness, I noticed something: people relate to their diagnosis in dramatically different ways. Some see it as a chapter—painful, intense, but ultimately finite.Others weave it into their identity so thoroughly...
2 months ago • 2 min read